.My thoughts turned to the rare selfish kind I was not familiar with;the, me myself and I thoughts. What did I really want? What were myreal desires for the future? I knew I was willing to do almost anythingfor those who loved me but at what cost to my self? Already I knew oftwo times I had withdrawn deep within enough to shut out the outsideworld. I also knew I did not want to do that again if I did I would notbe returning. The three strikes and you're out rule loomed large in mymind.Fight or flight? The human instinctive reactions! I flew twice alreadyand fought very little. I have fought, but not in the physical sense itwas always through reasoning and logic. Most of the reasoning and logicwere given me by others I trusted and loved. That trust has led me towhere I am now. Where the heck am I, anyway?I am in a woman's world wrapped in a man's body. I have been physicallychanged to resemble a young woman through various means. Artificialboobs, hips and fingernails. I have a cunny. " I know. That's one of the reasons why I came back here this morning. Did you think you handled yourself well with Shirley last night?" From the way she asked this question I knew she expected me to answer in the negative. I thought back to the short conversation Shirley and I had shared. It didn't seem cold or detached to me. I had to admit I'd been direct though. Possibly too direct as I thought back on it."I didn't give it much thought when we were talking about things. She asked me if I wanted to talk with her. I asked her if she wanted us to sleep together while we talked. I thought we had agreed to spend the night together, but she didn't come to my room. Did she get angry at the way I spoke to her?" I wouldn't say angry. She was afraid. Did you even bother to spend more than five minutes with her before you propositioned her?" By now, Joyce was unleashing her full ire in my direction. Looking at it now, I could understand some of why she might be upset. I knew I didn't want to.
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